Thursday, February 2, 2017

Oh...You are just a housewife!!

I used to dread being a housewife. I had dreaded the role of a housewife who does nothing but look after the house and her kids and her husband! Like, get a life! There is more beyond the house, kids and husband and some kitty parties!..something like real work!

I have been a highly career oriented woman. I have worked 18 hours days, leaving all concerns of self or family, giving my whole self completely, totally, fully to my work.

And I have loved every bit if it.

Having a job (but no children yet), I was able to look after my house and spend time with my friends and on my self and my husband as well - wasn't I? So why couldn't the housewives also go out and do some work and help bring in more income to the house? And maybe the husbands could then help out in the house chores and both could do the same things - work as well as look after home and children. That is balance. That is equality. That is what is Right.

Until I became a Mother.

Then, my priorities changed.

I wanted to spend more time with my child. And I was tired looking after the child (who was fully dependent on me for everything in the beginning months)and looking after my Self along with spending some time with my husband, on household chores and other important things. There was no time left for my work or the energy in case I did get some time off.

Slowly the hope of doing a job, remained just that - a hope.

I took on the role of a housewife - the dreaded role!!

Even though I loved being with my child, the idea of being a housewife was so terrifying that it took me some time to come to peace with it, and a little longer for my husband to also come to terms with the fact that I will not be contributing financially to the house expenses.

I was going through an identity crisis!

The gloom was becoming unbearable until I questioned my preconceived ideas of a housewife. The preconceived idea of balance. The preconceived idea of equality.

If, everything in this life is measured in monetary terms, then the family is horribly imbalanced if the wife is not earning. But if balance has a wider scope, then balance is maintained when the Yin and the Yang are balanced. Balance is maintained when the masculine and the feminine energies are balanced. Balance is maintained when the giving and the receiving is balanced.

Men are generally more tuned to 'Doing' and 'Giving', while women are generally more tuned towards 'Being' and 'Receiving'.

Note: The 'receiving' here is not physical receiving, but spiritual receiving.

The feminine energy and hence most women are generally more intuitive, and can connect more easily to the Divine, while the masculine energy and hence most men are generally wired better to going out and getting things done to help in the physical survival.

So then, in a family, the balance is maintained when the physical and the metaphysical come together equally. The masculine energies bringing in the physical necessities of the family, and the feminine energies bringing in the metaphysical necessities of the family.

The feminine and masculine energies are present in both men and women, but feminine energies are mostly (but not always) more developed in a women and the masculine energies are mostly (but not always) more developed in a man.

However, many times men have a highly developed intuitive sense hence their feminine energies are quite strong and many women are great go-getters, hence their masculine energies are quite strong.

So, to have a perfect balance in the house, there needs to be a balance of the masculine as well as the feminine energies. Who brings which form of energy is unique to each household.

Once I understood this and started to see my self as the bringer of the feminine energies to the house, I started seeing myself in a new light and with renewed respect.

Once I could see my Self and my role as a housewife with respect, many things changed for the better.

I was in charge of the house and its members' spiritual growth. So, I started developing my spiritual senses.

As my vibrations got stronger, the manifestations of my wishes/ prayers/ needs started happening faster. I could see miracles happening in our (our meaning my whole family's) daily life.

When there would be a financial crunch, I would pray for help, and lo and behold, a few weeks later, my husband would get an untimely bonus!

When my husbands colleague (in late 30's) had a heart attack because of work pressure, I prayed that my husbands' work pressure be eased, and soon he was able to take more time off work and even in work, his work pressures reduced greatly.

When someone fell ill at home, my prayers to heal them would manifest in their faster recovery.

Even my physical presence at home improved the quality of life of my children and husband and of course me! When my daughter comes home from school, she gets a hug from her mummy, not a maid. When she eats her food, it has been cooked with deep love by her mother and not some cook whose negative thoughts while cooking could adversely affect the 'life-force' of the food. When my husband comes back home, he sees a happy wife and happy children which melt away his office worries. And I? I am able to get time to do things that I deeply love  and enjoy doing and I feel great about being able to be the channel of Divine guidance and love for this family.

So, my role in the form of a housewife, and as a spiritual magnet of the family, was equally important for the well-being of the entire family as was my husband's role in providing for the physical needs of the family.

The balance was achieved.

Having said this,
Do I work? Yes I do. I work to bring God's light to people.
Do I earn money from it? Yes I do. It may not be much, but it is there.
Does my husband do household chores? Yes he does. He cooks most of the meals on Sundays and helps in many other things as well.

However we both have our strong areas, and we are both grateful for this opportunity to serve each other and our lovely children in this balanced fashion.

In a radio, there is a receiver that receives the signals. Then it is sent to the speaker, which is what we hear. The speakers are useless without the receivers and the receivers are useless without the speakers. Both are needed, and both are required to do their respective jobs well, so that one can clearly hear the sound.

This in no way means that women should only be house wives and men should only be bread earners. Rather, there can be a total role reversal or there can be a balance achieved with both working, as well as with both connecting spiritually.

However, demeaning of the housewives because they do not earn is something that needs to be done away with. Its an obsolete thought.

And dearest housewives, wake up to your responsibility of being the spiritual connect of the family.

Someone is required to make the house and someone is required to make the house a home.

1 comment:

  1. I feel, after reading your blog, that you are a proud mother in true sense and a good house hold lady in the house, rendering your life more meaningful